Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Media: Loonatics outrage has reached across the pond. LEE RANDALL from the Scotsman.

"ACCORDING to reports, the new cartoons are "action-oriented, filled with chases and fights". But isn’t the entire substance of the Roadrunner/Wile E Coyote relationship an elaborate high-speed chase punctuated by explosions? What the hell more does it take to satisfy kids these days? Worse still, the proposed modernisation must inevitably destroy the purity of premise behind Roadrunner cartoons, laid out in ten strict rules by the series creator, Chuck Jones: 1 Roadrunner cannot harm Coyote; 2 No outside force can harm Coyote, only his own ineptitude or the failure of Acme products; 3 Coyote could stop anytime, if he wasn’t a fanatic (as defined by Santayana: "one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim"); 4 No dialogue, ever, except "Beep! Beep!"; 5 Roadrunner must stay on the road; 6 All action is confined to the natural environment of the characters; 7 All tools and weapons must be obtained from the Acme Corporation; 8 Whenever possible, make gravity Coyote’s greatest enemy; 9 Coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his adventures; 10 The audience’s sympathy must remain with Coyote. Take these two out of the American desert and all hell breaks loose. How can Coyote battle gravity in space, where everyone floats? The first time he screeches off a cliff, he’ll merely waft away unharmed. What fun is that? How can Roadrunner embody perpetual motion if he’s going head-to-head with bad guys? Did nobody think this through? Is Warner Brothers so lazy - or creatively void - that it can’t invent new characters as compelling as the old? A COLLEAGUE summed it up neatly: Bugs, Daffy and the rest are at once quintessentially timeless and of their time. In a decade, hard-nosed pre-pubescents will dismiss Loonatics as "so 2005". As for the originals, well, age shall not wither them. Warner Brothers, if you’re reading, take my advice: It ain’t broke. Stop trying to fix it."

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